an update to make myself feel better.

yeah here i am,once again.
recently i finally caught the ultimate meaning y do i blog.
just to blog.
for folks tat used to study in chung hwa,
they might know wat "Hari Interaksi Ibu Bapa dengan Guru" is.
even the title of the event is evil itself.
it makes you feel an instant unease.
apatah lagi to participate it?
i'd never ever participate it.
until 21st of May.
involuntarily.
hatefully.
maybe the teachers are getting bored of complaining bout us students to our parents on our back...
so they force us to show up,
and do it in front of us...
it's just like being force to watch when the nurse sticks the needle into ur arm to extract ur blood.
imagine the mental pain it'll brings.
haih...chung hwa...they sure know how to torture us students...
academically and un-academically.
did i mention bout the extra classes we're going to have during the 1st week of holiday?
if i didnt,thn i'm telling it now.
we are going to hav extra classes during the 1st week of holiday.
daily.
0800-1230.
no wonder we always achieve astounding achievements.
we trade our soul for it.
similar to the case when johnny blaze trade his soul for the power of the fire entity.
and we call him ghost rider.
sooner or later,
ppl will call us book sucker.
and we certainly wont hav the ability to kill evil spirits.
i just hope tat at tat moment,
i do still possess the ability to kill myself.
CHOI!
chung hwa,
it does did a great job in controlling human population.
ave chung hwa~ave chung hwa~
i'm outta my mind.
i know.

duh...

when u're writing about something to remorse,the starting is always the hardest....
in general,i lost again.
tis time in racket sport...
i'm not remorseful for losing,
instead i'm remorseful for how i act after that...
yet again...
my racket end up smashed...
i should learn to control my temper really...
no matter how bad things turn out to be.
actually....
wat i should learn is to accept the fact that i should learn to control my temper...
i know how ppl feel after behaving foolishly..
juz..i cant help it x(
tat's why i'm restricting myself from learning martial arts i guess..
i might end up demolishing my house.
ok lah no matter wat..
i'm sorry about that...
it's not that i dont have sportsmanship,
it's juz tat i might lose track of it sometimes...
especially when i'm getting frust..
i do still congrats my opponent actually...
after i got myself cooled down..
i'm just angry bout myself,
for unable to deliver my best...
in fact,
i can handle losses,
and i will accept the fate of losing in an easy-going manner,
if i'm giving 100% and i still end up losing.
i think the truth is,
i hate when i'm losing due to mentality,
not due to physical disadvantage.
watever lah...
i'm writing this to beg for forgiveness,
from the mortals,
and the immortals high up there..
for not being a flawless man,
and also for my deeply flawed personalities,
and moral values.
and lastly,
i'm making a vow
even though i know i already made and broke this promise a dozen of times,
i'm still making it...
i mean it.
and for god sake i'll hold to my promise...hopefully x(
tat i will not smash my racket out of frust ever again...
it's not worth it, my financial status do not allow it, and it's stupid..
i guess that is why i prefer football over badminton...
coz the ball simply wont burst,
no matter how hard u kick it~
Amen.